Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Indecision Indecision Indecision...

So I was creeping around some blogs and it was Miss Teacups who put a youtube video of Tavi - check out rookie mag it's supposed to be for teenagers but it's absolutely awesome -  giving and talk on Ted (also amazing). This sixteen year old really stuck a chord with me, mostly due to the way she dresses and her hilarious use of paint. The main focus of her talk was young girls (teens specifically) and their confusions and indecision and such. And go me thinking about how  at 21 and going into my third year of uni, I  have no clue as to what to do with my life.

Through out my life I've wanted to be a Doctor, an artist, a doctor but an artist in my spare time, then artist again. A Spanish translator. Then after deciding to do politics for a degree in Dundee I thought about Journalism but after not really studying for my A-Levels I ended up studying Philosophy in London.
It wasn't till I got to my second year of uni (the first time) that I realised that if I was going to study anything at university, I really should have done Religious Studies, I'm not religious - I consider myself agnostic - but it's a subject  that I always enjoyed and did well in. I thought about transferring to another course but my uni grades have been really up and down so I was always a bit worried about whether or not I'd get in anywhere and so never actually applied anywhere.
 Around this time last year, I had no idea why I was doing what I was doing, A degree I wasn't enthusiastic about in a City I didn't always feel happy in ( I have a love/hate relationship with London ). I just got in to a bit of a rut and my studying took pretty much all of the flack. But it was around then when I got really bored of myself and thought "OK, what have you always really loved doing?" And the answer was Art and music. I realised that I always spent most of my life wishing that I drew/painted more and that I was either a part of a choir or could take violin lessons again. So it was around then I started drawing again which later turned into making my own cards and now key rings, badges and magnets! I also started attending my uni choir (all though to be honest, i haven't been for a while!)

So that kind of brings me to where I am now, I've just finished my second year for the second time and to be honest; I can't say I regret it, it's given me more time to think about what I want to do as a career and not get pushed out into the world to a job I don't like. I really, really don't want to spend to spend the next 40/50 years doing I job I hate.

 That said I do feel like now that I'm going into my 3rd year I should at least some sort of vague idea of what to do with my life career wise. Hopefully I might be able to figure something out over the summer and then maybe I can look for some jobs or internships or whatever with a company I like whilst studying. At the same time, I'm not going to force myself too much. I've already forced myself to make some fairly big life decisions too young and it wasn't till over half way through my course that I eventually realised what I actually should be studying. I don't want to do the same thing with my career choices too.

I don't know about anywhere else but I think in the UK there's such much pressure on young people to know exactly what they want to do with there lives... to the point where I actually think it's a bit ridiculous. I mean if you know exactly what you want to do from a young age then by all means go for it! But if if anyone were to ask my advice I would say take you're sweet time, there's no rush! (although I know it's not quite that simple) Take a gap year work some jobs, take up hobbies find out what you love and then work your arse off to be successful at whatever that is. And if your working at or studying something you hate, QUIT. I don't mean to reference Twilight here but I'm going to reference Twilight. You know when Jessica gives her Valedictorian speech? She basically tells her class mates to change their minds a million times and fuck up whilst they're young and I completely advocate this in every way. Although maybe try not to get into the habit of the whole fucking up thing TOO much.

In the meantime, I'll keep blogging, crafting and looking at what sort of careers there are out there that I could really enjoy. Maybe throw in some travelling in there too...

Oh yeah and graduating! That first!


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